Openers

A lump of coal for Stevie

Poor Stephen Harper. Last Monday was this man's Christmas Eve. He surely couldn't sleep the night before good ol' Saint Gomery rustled down his chimney with a report that was sure to bring down Paul Martin and the tired, corrupt Liberal government. He has hoped for a big set of boxing gloves to make the knock-out punch in the House of Commons on Tuesday. But he was bewildered when the big box with the bow on it contained only a roll of scotch tape and a piece of 8.5x11 paper with the words “Kick Me” on it.

The Gomery Report, Part One exonerated Prime Minister Paul Martin from all wrongdoing, carelessness, or responsibility in the sponsorship scandal. As it turns out, that baseball that broke Mr. Martin's grandmother's window in fourth-grade was hit by Jean Chrétien. That time he forgot to feed the dog when he was eleven was actually because his officials forgot to flag it on his schedule, and that crack cocaine he snorted in university doesn't count because Alfonso Gagliano told him it was sugar.*

Back to Stephen Harper: to his credit, the fellow taped that “Kick Me” to his own back and wore it around all week, bravely asserting that somehow Paul Martin should be in trouble, and that Canadians seriously want to go to the ballot box instead of to the mall on Boxing Day.

Of course, Harper is anxious to force Canada into an election campaign because it's his party's last chance to be anywhere near close to the Liberals in public opinion polls until next year's anticipated “Cabinet Ministers Go Wild” video comes out at your local WalMart. Friday's new poll had the Liberals and Conservatives in a “dead heat” at 31% and 30% respectively,*** leaving the entire Conservative caucus buzzing and running around with their legs crossed like children who have to pee really bad.

Unfortunately, the teacher – Jack Layton, who loves that “I have to pee” look on the face of Conservatives – isn't about to let the kiddies out for recess yet. He's still trying to teach the class the difference between the Canadian and American health care systems. Conservatives say there shouldn't be any difference, can I pee now? Liberals say what problem? And the Bloc Québécois says Tabernouche en colisse, j'dois pisser en maudit!

* There is no evidence that Paul Martin has ever consumed any illicit substances. I withdraw this comment. Just like they do in Question Period when they call somebody a numbskull.**
** There is no evidence that Paul Martin is a numbskull. I withdraw that comment too, Mr. Speaker.
*** In other news, the Montreal Canadiens and Buffalo Sabres* skated to a 3-2 tie game on Friday night. [e]

Chavez v Bush: Round One

Back in the world where politics entails discussing policy, the world is missing the first round between George W. Bush and his own personal Castro, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Chavez is vowing to directly challenge Dubya to a thumb wrestling match* over neo-liberalism in the western hemisphere. Bush's task is to convince leaders of Central and South America that free trade is a good thing for them (by them, he means them personally – do you really think they talk about their citizens at these things?), while protesters on the outside finally have their champion inside the negotiations. The armed fortress of power is located in a resort village in Argentina, the perfect place to talk about how trade issues affect the hemisphere's poorest people.

When informed of the thumb wrestling challenge, Bush reportedly said,** “Well, you know, back home in Texas, they have this way of decidin' if a feller's right or not. It's called I command a squadron of fighter jets with nuclear bombs strapped to their bellies and if you don't want me to go Contra on you, you'll turn around and let me punch you really hard between the butt cheeks now. Oh and privatize all your public services and open your economy to American corporations who will exploit your cheap labour and soon-to-be-polluted-beyond-repair environment. That's what it's called.”

A proud moment*** for Canada happened when Prime Minister Paul “So poor means you don't own your own multi-million dollar corporation, right?” Martin spoke at the Summit, arguing passionately that free trade is the best way to help end poverty. I know you've been occupied keeping your tired old government in party, sir, but what are you thinking? Only Monte Solberg still defends that archaic belief any more – I don't even think George Bush has the guts to say it. Next you'll offer a new blood-letting program to improve health care, and order muskets for our troops in Afghanistan.

I was going to say “Stay Tuned,” but now appears to be the time for the people to be head on this – we can't let Chavez and a handful of other courageous South American leaders go it alone. Let's inundate our PM with e-mails to back off and negotiate a fair trade deal. If the people have a say, the people may just win for a change...

* The challenge isn't really going to be decided by thumb wrestling, but apparently by the highly outdated use of words. Either way, Bush loses big time. So I guess overwhelming economic might and mind-bending, Harvard-educated advisers will be the means of deciding who's right in the end.
** Bush's fictitious quote, unlike many things he actually says, has been edited to make some semblance of sense.
*** Perhaps I mean a “Vote this dimwad out now!” moment. [e]

Liberal Picnic Games

Speaking of the superficial differences between Liberals and Conservatives, after reading a quote attributed to Ontario Liberal Premier in last week's edSpective, Prime Minister Paul Martin made a brief, curt call to the Premier. To review, Mr. McGuinty was fictitiously cited as saying: “[Unfreezing tuition fees] is not intended to give the finger to struggling university students. It's more like pulling down their pants from behind and punching them really hard in between their butt cheeks. You see, the Tories say 'Screw you', and then they screw you. We Liberals prefer to tell you we're okay dudes, and then we screw you when you least expect it.”

The Prime Minister was enraged, and reportedly lectured the Premier: “Darn it, Dalton. It's like those 'Whoop Johnny Johnny' party jokes. Everybody knows the trick, but you're not supposed to say the rule out loud.” As a result, Mr. McGuinty was not invited to the picnic that the Prime Minister was having. As an aside, Paul is bringing a Pickle Pie and gets double points for the aliteration, and Foreign Affairs Minister Pierre Pettigrew was hoping to bring an egg salad sandwich, but will instead be dropped from Cabinet. [e]

Wanted: new ideas

After the short-lived public outrage over Kashechewan – the northern Ontario First Nations community whose e.coli-tainted water was ignored for years by the federal government – subsided, our venerable political pundits threw us back several decades by throwing their hands in the air and resurrecting the zombie of assimilation. Jeffrey Simpson authoritatively argued that “even assuming safe drinking water, adequate housing, and better schools,” there could be no future for First Nations people (or indeed anyone in Canada's struggling “hinterland” beyond the sprawl of suburbia) without joining the inevitable movement toward city living and high skills training. Apparently, there is no culture in Canada outside the corporate one: your life will be far more fulfilling in our world, collecting and re-folding clothes that shoppers drop on the floor in WalMart. Join us, or perish.

Reeling from what NDP MP Charlie Angus is calling the Prime Minister's New Orleans, Paul Martin got some friendly PR advice from an unlikely source: long-time rival Jean Chrétien. Despite being pissed that the Gomery Report nailed him to the wall while Martin got off scott-free, the former PM recalled his trip to a Chinese restaurant in Toronto during the SARS scare. Chrétien merrily dined at the restaurant in the epicentre of the epidemic to assuage Canadians' fears about the disease, and suggested that his smug successor try a similar stunt with tainted water in Kashechewan: “He can go jump in a northern Ontario lake, for all I care.” [e]

On heroism

There lies within each of us, no matter our lot, the spirit and courage to change the world. Thank you, Rosa Parks. As long as we recall your heroic refusal to surrender your seat to a white man in the heat of racist Alabama, we know that the bold action of one can ignite the passion of a generation.

The legendary American civil rights icon who sparked the 381-day Montgomery bus boycott in 1955 died on October 24, 2005, at age 92. Tributes have been unanimous and free-flowing, from Presidents and Governors, Democrats and Republicans, CEOs and entertainers. Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm called her a “heroic warrior for equality.” She “struck a lethal blow to the foundations of legal bigotry,” pronounced former President Bill Clinton.

Of course, the greatest tribute to Ms. Parks would have been a profound shift in race relations in the United States over the past 50 years. However, the US now has only two black members of the 16-person federal Cabinet, one on the nine-judge Supreme Court, ONE in the 100-member Senate, 42 in the 434-member House of Representatives, and zero blacks among the 50 state Governors.*

While African Americans are drastically under-represented** in politics, business, the wealthy, the middle class, post-secondary education, and most professional careers, they are represented in far greater proportions to their population in the country's rap industry, basketball league, and prison system. Ghettos in inner cities continue to perpetuate the poverty, violent crimes, and atrociously underfunded education system overwhelmingly imposed on African and Latino Americans, and of course they offer distance from wealthy suburban white folks.

Of course the situation isn't quite as... black and white? Affirmative action and other brave spirits have gradually nudged forward a shift in the American mindset away from prejudice. However, this progress remains window dressing for a still profoundly unequal society that systemically deprives the largely-minority low-income population of opportunity. It is also a society in which a Muslim woman who stood against bigotry like Rosa Parks did, could today be disappeared and sent to a CIA prison camp somewhere in Eastern Europe before the next Martin Luther King or Malcolm X could get dressed.

And hey Canada, it's not all that better in Toronto, Vancouver, or Halifax. Check our House of Commons, Premiers, and Supreme Court. Ask Maher Arar about being Muslim in Canada.***

Let's not allow the legacy of this beautiful soul to be stalled because we think we've done enough. Of all people, Rosa Parks was a woman not of words, but of action. It's too bad, nay shameful, that she was one of a kind.

* The Mayor of Washington, DC is black, as is the Lieutenant Governor of Maryland. You go, Maryland.
** A new word should be made up for that kind of under-representation. Micro-represented. Invisible.
*** Don't. The man has been through enough. [e]

Eating moldy cheese versus eating your own poo

Just as US President George Bush presented Samuel Alito as his new nominee for the Supreme Court, a resounding “Ah, crap!” was heard coming from progressive voices to the south, akin to a Wheel of Fortune contestant who knew the solution to the puzzle, but opted to spin that damn wheel for a shot at more money or a Hawaiian vacation, but then landed on Bankrupt. Mr. Alito, currently a judge on the US Court of Appeals in New Jersey, has in the past written conservative-leaning opinions on abortion, civil rights, gender rights, machine gun possession, and medical leave. Given that the Supreme Court won't be able to personally appoint George Bush again like it did in 2000 (thank you, term limits!), the President's personal lawyer and biggest fan Harriet Miers (who isn't necessarily as radically right as she is a best friend of the President) looks comparatively golden for the American left in the struggle to keep some balance to a Court now poised to shift so far right it may hit Africa. [e]

Signs

US President George Bush announced a $7.1 billion plan to protect Americans against avian influenza. Reports out of Heaven indicate that God has become frustrated that humans are missing His signs. He's decided to follow up mad cow and bird flu with tuna rot, pig plague and turkey AIDS to get it through our thickly clogged arteries that He intended “dominion over the animals” to mean “watch and, perhaps, ride them”, but NOT “crowd them densely in cages, feed them chemicals, antibiotics and pieces of each other, string them up by their tendons, slit their throats and consume them.” [e]

Celebrity endorsements you'd rather not have, unless you're incredibly unpopular and a gangster

In the midst of perhaps his lowliest days as President, George Bush received some desperately needed support this week, when rapper 50 Cent publicly disagreed with Kanye West's hurricane-era blurt-out that “George Bush doesn't care about black people.” After Bush replied with a, “Yo, Fiddy, lay back bro I's gonna buss a cap in dat whack dude's ass soo nuff anyhow,”* his handlers cut off the microphone. It was the most coherent non-scripted argument George Bush has made in his presidency to date.

* There's no way to clean up that dirty quote. Shame on you, George Bush. [e]


Top Story: The Gomery Report

For months I have argued that waiting for the Gomery report to pronounce on Liberal corruption is like standing out in a rainstorm waiting for someone to come tell you you're getting wet. From the not repealing the GST or eliminating child poverty, to education and health cuts, slimy lobbying, abandoning the environment, corporate tax cuts, a record number of distinct fiscal boondoggles and a resultant streak of scathing lectures from the Auditor General saying the Liberals are out-of-control incompetent and plainly corrupt, we are drenched and we somehow don't know it. Notwithstanding the grandiose hype that the mainstream news media is piling on this $80 million report, we cannot escape the fact that we know precious little more in November than what we've known all year, and perhaps since the late 1990s. And to be blunt, Canadians calling for the Liberals to be taken down this week look embarrassingly stupid. Let's try an analogy:

You're a high school student, and you've been dating this guy, let's say for twelve years (you met in pre-school). To get you to go out with him, he promised to give you his sandbox shovel and to stop giving you nuggies (grinding his knuckles into the top of your skull). Once you began dating, he broke those promises and assumed you'd soon forget he'd made them. So with no shovel and a sore skull, you continued the relationship because your only other options were the kid who eats glue and the kid who tries to hold your hand too much. As time rolled by, things got progressively worse. You knew he was necking with your other classmates, and telling on you to the teacher, and he began replacing the nuggies with wedgies (pulling your underwear above your shoulders and hanging you on a hook in the cloakroom). Each time you confronted him and demanded better treatment, he wrote you long, point-form love notes (called “Red Books”) promising to take you on dates at the movies, to make you friendship bracelets, and to call you sweetie in front of his friends. All you ever got, though, were a movie night in his basement with his buddies watching his parents' Porkies movies, a 25-cent plastic Pokemon pog, and a reduction in the times he called you fartface in front of your friends to once a week.

Now it's high school, and he's sleeping with several other people – only apologizing when you catch him literally in the act, and each time swearing that he's instituted a new set of rules to prevent it from happening again. He's still a sweet-talker, reminding you about the Pokemon pog he once gave you, but hasn't taken you on a date in seven years. And instead of wedgies he opens his arms for a hug but spins around and farts in your direction. You want so badly to leave the jerk, but your see your options as limited: that glue-eating kid grew up to steal cars in middle school and is now the school drug dealer who organizes gangs of his friends from the rich area of town to surround ninth graders and make fun of their non-designer clothes. The hand-holding kid has been your friend and confidant since elementary school and tries very hard to catch your romantic attention, telling you how wonderfully he would treat you. But he dresses weird, gets kicked in the crotch more than you do, and is on the mathletics team. And the new kid just stands in a corner most of the time muttering in French about how nobody pays attention to his needs. So you stay with the butthead, even though you still haven't gotten that shovel, you have a calloused bald spot on the top of your head, and all you have to show for years of being taken for granted is a round plastic pog.

Last year you found out that your boyfriend has periodically stolen $100 from your locker to blow on poker nights with his buddies. Your friend Sheila uncovered the missing money and told you. When you confronted him, he told you it was one of his friends and it wasn't his fault, but he'd make sure it doesn't happen again.

Soon after, he moved to Arkansas to join a street gang. You started dating his best friend, who was kind of worse: he had always laughed at the nuggies, wedgies, and fake-hug farts. He had pushed your ex-boyfriend to buy you a 5-cent candy instead of the more expensive Pokemon pog. And it had been his house your ex used to cheat on you. But hey, he's not your ex – so maybe he's different, you thought. The drug dealer and mathlete both tell you he's the same as the last one, but you don't listen. You soon learn that the only real differences between the old guy and the new guy is that the new guy smiles more when he breaks his promises, he's a little bit better at convincing you that he's being a good boyfriend when he invites for boys' porn nights in his basement, and his farts smell worse. He is outraged about the $100 your ex stole from you, and sets up a commission to get at the truth. You wait and wait, and eventually it is announced that indeed your ex-boyfriend stole $100 from you.

What do you do?

If you're a Canadian, you confront the new guy about the $100 (at the urging of the drug dealer and mathlete), and wind up picking the new guy again anyways. You could try dating the drug dealer for six months, but the gang violence and heroin headaches will soon make you yearn for the days of porn nights and stinky farts. You'll never go for the mathlete who professes his eternal love for you and promises romantic bike rides, fair-trade chocolate, and a puppy. He's just a friend, and plus you're in high school – nobody dates the nice guy in high school.

Let's keep our head in the game, Canada. The Liberals are corrupt. John Gomery gave us details, but becoming enraged all of a sudden and arguing for an instant election is tantamount to admitting your head has been up your own butt for the last twelve years. How can we be so outraged about a $100 million kickback scheme when we have been mute to our government handing over billions of dollars to wealthy oil, car, weapons, chemical, agricultural, and other corporations? Where was the outrage when it gutted the affordable housing program and when it helped organize the coup in Haiti? Where is the outrage about government compliance with industrial pollution, Canadian mining companies abusing human rights overseas, the peddling of oppressive biotechnology to the world's poor on our behalf, and new laws allowing more chemicals on our food and in our meat? Why aren't we angered that the Liberals are watching private health care grow, stalling on a national child care program, and refusing to address skyrocketing tuition? Sure, it's disappointing that the government allowed 1,900 people in Kashechewan to languish in conditions worse than Old Delhi's slums, but when the Liberals start stealing taxpayer money, git me my torch and shotgun! Hey Canada: just because the Globe and Mail puts out a funky front page and Peter Mansbridge flies into Ottawa to take poor Don Newman's seat, it doesn't mean the story is worthy of our attention.

The Gomery Report doesn't mean squat. And screw you to the mainstream media that try to dupe us into thinking otherwise.

Sure, the Liberals are corrupt and arrogant. Sure, we need to send them a sign – they can't get away with it all. But let's remain calm here, Canada, and be sure we know our options.

I remember a quote from a woman on the front of a national newspaper during the 2000 election,bemoaning her perceived lack of choice: “None of the parties are talking about the issues I care about, like education, health care and the environment. Except for the NDP, but they scare me.”

You want scary, lady? Canadians seem ready to kick the corrupt, arrogant Liberals out, bringing the Conservatives into power because Canadians see the NDP as just a good friend. The Conservatives would only take a few short years to restore their similar, Mulroney-esque slime. And in the meantime, Monte Solberg would run our economy, Stockwell Day would be the guy the world thinks of when they think Canada, Bob Mills would be the guardian of our environment, and Stephen Harper would get to sit next to George Bush at G-8 meetings. If that doesn't give you nightmares, you should either check your pulse or move to Arkansas with your ex-boyfriend.

The problem, though, Canada, is that you're 138 years old. You're not in high school any more, and you've been married to a series of buttheads from the same group of promise-breaking friends for a century. Now, after finally winning us back some investment in education, cities, aboriginal communities, housing and foreign aid this spring, the nice guys are trying to stop the creeping privatization of our precious public health care. But we don't notice, we've just spontaneously become fed up with twelve years of the Liberals.

Sadly, until Canadians grow out of their teenage fear of the nice-guy NDP, we'll be stuck with corrupt, arrogant buttheads or even worse, Conservatives. It's time to grow up, Canada. You french kiss the buttheads in high school. You marry the nice guys. [e]


Action Items

Email your MP:

(1) Shut up about the election and protect our public health care system (www.elections.ca – enter your postal code and you get the contact info for your MP)

(2) To Prime Minister Paul Martin and International Trade Minister Jim Peterson: Please please please abandon your anachronistic position on free trade and listen to us. Make trade fair for the Americas – allow them to protect domestic industries and their public services against neo-liberalist economics that are proven to be flawed and horrific for the world's poor. Forgive loans taken out by their former pro-US dictators, and let's start over again with loans and aid that are untied to Canadian products and investment. We will NOT take you seriously about poverty until you catch up to this century. Above all, do NOT create a free trade agreement that excludes any countries who stand up for their people. Listen to Hugo Chavez and to the protesters outside your walled palace. And next time you have a conference, don't have it at a resort – it looks bad dude. (pm@pm.gc.ca; peterson.j@parl.gc.ca)

(3) To Indian Affairs Minister Andy Scott: First off, change that department name, fella – “Indian” Affairs is so 60s. Second, stop throwing plane loads of money at the problem of poverty and despair among First Nations, roll up your sleeves and start listening to the people themselves and not just their leaders for creative solutions. (scott.a@parl.gc.ca)

(4) To President George W. Bush: We know about the CIA “black camps” that you ship all your illegal prisoners to, and we know about the torture your military openly condones,* dude. This war on terror sucks – try fighting poverty through fair trade and real democracy instead of sticking your neo-liberal junk down the hungry throats of the poor. And I've got Chavez in my thumb wrestling pool – you're goin' down!

(5) To Premier Dalton McGuinty: Enough with punching us really hard between the butt cheeks! RE-FREEZE tuition fees or, even better, lower them. Invest more in green energy, not new nuclear plants. (dalton.mcguinty@premier.gov.on.ca OR dmcguinty.mpp.co@liberal.ola.org)

* Check the BBC News story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4403166.stm
and the Human Rights Watch report: www.hrw.org/english/docs/2005/09/25/usint11776.htm

Vote with your Dollars:

(1) Buy organic, free-range meat, eggs and dairy. Eat one more vegetarian meal each week. You don't have to become a vegetarian to stop the inhuman cruelty of factory farms, just buy wisely. The crying cows and weeping sheep in your dreams will leave you alone.

(2) Go into your local McDonalds and ask for fair trade coffee. When they look at you funny, tell them McDonalds has it in New England and New York, and that you'd be more likely to get your coffee at McDonalds when they start selling fair trade in Canada. Do the same in your grocery store about Nestlé (they have it in the UK). Tell 'em you read it in edSpective, and give 'em the link.

Vote with your 'Tude:

(1) Stand up against racism everywhere you see it. Speak out when you hear racist language or jokes. Notice out loud when a room of executives (or even just ordinary people) is filled with white dudes. Ask your boss why there aren't more people of colour in your office. Recruit some to apply for jobs – unless your job sucks, then that would make stuff worse, eh?

Good News Stories of the Week 

Bad guys play fair

The fair trade movement is popping its glorious head above ground and into the mainstream, as McDonalds and Nestle have announced the introduction of fair trade coffee in select locations. Starting last Tuesday (November 1) McDonalds began serving Fair Trade Certified, organic Newmans's Own coffee in 658 of its restaurants in New England and Albany, NY. Perhaps coolest is that the shift is on 100% of the coffee served- oh yeah, NO NON-FAIR-TRADE option! After realizing that their veggie burger wasn't bringing in vegetarians, McDonalds has seemingly awoken to the concept of social justice (or at least the optics of social justice). We haven't forgotten that its critics argue that McDonalds slaughters millions of cows and chickens a year, produces a million tons of waste, market relentlessly to children, refuse their workers union protection, and represent much of what is nasty with our corporate culture. But there are signs that they're hearing the world's calls to not suck so much, and that they are willing to change, unlike so many other mega-bad guys. Let's keep pushing and see what they do next. For now, a respectful “That's very cool, McDude” has to go out. Keep it moving forward, and you never know.

On its side, Nestlé became the first of the four dominant coffee producers to launch a fair-trade line of instant coffee. “Partner's Blend” is available only in the UK for now, but it is a major departure from the company that once warned that paying all farmers fairly would never work for the whole coffee market because supply would rise to sharply. There is no sign that they are willing to abandon their sadly flawed first-year microeconomics textbook analysis; however, like McDonalds, it is a huge first step for one of the world's biggest econo-demons. Thanks for finally listening.

Finally, the bold and tireless efforts of one brave person at a time to raise awareness about the injustice of the coffee trade has broken through the underground. Bravo to Oxfam, TransFair, and other fairtastic orgs for their continuing success. Oxfam reports that : “The market for Fair Trade Certified coffee is has grown by an average of over 70% each year since 1999. Fair trade coffee is available from over 400 coffee companies at 20,000 retail locations across the country—a sign that consumers are making their voices heard.” Indeed.

So let's get out and start asking our grocery stores to start stocking fair trade coffee (Nestlé or preferably local brands), and if you have to be at McDonalds, give a high five with your free smile for their brave switch to the good side of the force, and ask them to start bringing fair trade coffee to Canada. [e]


Project Porchlight

Stuart and Mike, two very cool dudes in Ottawa have rallied support from corporate sponsors and politicians including the three English party leaders to provide free compact fluorescent lightbulbs to everyone in Canada, starting in Ottawa. If every Canadian household were to replace one regular bulb with the energy-saving, longer-lasting CF version (known affectionately as “the squiggly type”), it would reduce climate-changing carbon dioxide emissions the equivalent of taking 66,000 cars off the road. Check out their wicked web site for more details – they need volunteers across the country to go door-to-door giving people bulbs (“Here's something that will reduce your power bill and pollution at the same time, Ma'am”): www.onechange.org. Bravo, boys. [e]


Fighter pilot against illegal war

Thankfully, Rosa Parks' legacy of civil disobedience lives vibrantly today... in the UK. Flight Lieutenant Malcolm Kendall-Smith stood up against the war in Iraq that he (and most experts in international law) believes to be illegal, refusing to return to Iraq for a third tour. His bravery was rewarded with court marshal papers on October 5^th – the British Ministry of Defence says that “It is an offence in accordance of the RAF Act 1945 not to comply with orders.” Kendall-Smith hopes to make his case into a litmus test for the legality of the war, and he will be heard by a judge before the court marshal itself sometime in early 2006. Rosa Parks had Martin Luther King and the courage of thousands who came to her side in Montgomery – will the peace movement step up to the plate to surround the brave young Lieutenant? [e]

** E-Mail me your Good News Stories!** edspective@yahoo.ca
** E-Mail me for edSpective: UnCut, with all the original swears I shouldn't show my Grandma, my Mom, or the person seeking a new column for their national newspaper ** edspective@yahoo.ca